Sunday, February 19, 2012

Day 50: The Permanent Pause

Hmm, Day 50 in my 50th year. You would think that would merit some brilliant, earth-shattering wisdom wouldn't you?

I am not exactly sure that what is on my mind is earth-shattering, but, it is part of most women's lives, some just may not ever notice it until it happens and is done, and some don't get there naturally due to medical issues. But for me, I have been noticing it for about 7 years now.

OKAY: WARNING TO THE MEN, this is your chance to leave, I am talking about "women's stuff" and I have found that many of the men in my life do not want to hear anything about it, and in fact, it is one of the few things that they are actually afraid of. So, here is my final warning to you: STEP AWAY FROM THE BLOG.

I have this magnet on my fridge!

Okay, to all of my female friends (and the few enlightened men that have stuck around), today marks one-year since I have had my "monthly visitor!" Whoo Hoo!!!!! That means I am now "officially" in Menopause. Why so excited? Because so far, this is the only perk that I can see from this. Just think of the money I am going to save each month (well, that I have already saved).

Yeah, I am using a euphemism to refer to my menstrual cycle because the men in our lives are often so uncomfortable hearing the word "period" or "menstruation," that we have even had to dumb down discussions about our own reproductive system for them. Others I have heard it called during my life include "Aunt Flo," "My Friend Flo," and of course, "The Curse," which I find ironic and sad that something that is necessary to bring life to all of us, is seen so negatively.

But I digress (big shock). When I saw my OB-Gyn last month, and told her I was almost done and it would be a year. She said, "yep, that means you are going to be in menopause, officially." When I asked her, "so does this mean I get a crown or a prize or something, for dealing with the hot flashes, night sweats, and unexpected and unwelcome tearfulness since 2005? " she said, "it means you can't get pregnant."

I found that response so interesting. I have spent my entire life trying to avoid getting pregnant; it is what all  women do except for the few times that they actually may want to get pregnant. Again, my first thought was think of all the money I have spent on birth control products and now, just like that (okay, not really just like that) but with her pronouncement that is no longer an issue.

I also find it interesting how, the many people in my life who felt it was their business and who actually told me that I would seriously regret my choice not to have children, either when I reached 25, 30, 35, 40, 45, and yes, 50, were seriously wrong. Maybe one day soon I will write about that choice, but for now,  it just goes back to what I wrote about the other day, trust yourself, you know what is right for you.

So now I am officially in the next phase. And, I have to say that it is not as bad as I had heard, or thought it was going to be (okay, with the exception of my hormone-fed breast lumps that have required 3 surgeries and that hopefully will now also stop). I am looking forward to what comes next.

For all of my friends that are going through the same thing thing and thinking that they are going crazy, or think they are alone, you are not. Check out one of my favorite places to go to find some humor in this "phase of life" and to see that you are not alone. Perrie Meno-Pudge is hilarious and like I try to do, she finds humor in all of the special changes at this phase of our lives. 


  1. I look forward to joining you, soon I hope, in "the pause". I have been waiting with open arms and have even had a symptom or two but no......regular as when I was a teen!!! As for the child thing, I think you would have been a great mom because you have a fantastic sense of humor. And as the mother of a 17 year old girl, I can tell you I have needed mine,BIG TIME, these past few months!!!!!!!


  2. Ah, thanks Charlene, and I was regular up until about 2 years ago, and then it just kind of got more and more so until I literally just stopped last February. Ironically, I kind of was a mother. My husband's son was 8 when we met, he's now 30 and he lived with us during those wonderful teen years, and you are right, those are the years when you need your sense of humor the most. Don't worry, once she hits about 25, you will start looking like the smartest person in the world to her again :)!