Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Day 74: Two Months From 50 & Six Weeks From Deadline

Well, the "big day" is now exactly two months away. But, since my book deadline is April 30, I am getting even less excited about the big day and having a hard time writing this blog every day. It is hard to write something new every day about the complete stress I am feeling, or to pretend that I am not feeling it. So, here's my attempt to put a fresh spin on my whining. As always, you are free to step away from the blog at any time.

My inner perfectionist is rearing her ugly head because I am now editing and I am starting to feel like this:

I know that this is counterproductive and I am trying to remember this because when I try for perfect, it doesn't even turn out good, and in fact, it usually never gets done.

I am also getting panicked trying to find images from places or people who won't charge me both reproduction and use rights for each image because there's no way I can afford them.

I know that once I get done, I will feel differently, but right now I am just feeling this constant angst about not having enough images or the right ones. Or, that I didn't do enough research or the "right" research. Or that we are forgetting something or somebody really big.

I know this is just part of the process, I have been through it before and not just when working on a book. I also know that this feeling, the fear and the stress that come with something this big is why some people either never start something or finish it.

I might be a lot of things, a perfectionist, sarcastic, flippant, and yes, stubborn, but I am not a quitter (because I am stubborn). Even when I should quit or give up on something I don't.

So, I will keep using these lovely, illustrated quotes, I will keep walking to clear my head, I will soak in my bubble baths, and more importantly I will keep going even when I don't feel like it because this is an opportunity that I have worked long and hard for and that doesn't come that often.

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