Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Day 123: Just How Much "I" is TMI?

As I was walking this morning I was thinking about a lot of things (yeah, big shock. I know), one of which was this blog and how boring I am sure most people find it. And I was wondering, just how much information really is too much? Or, conversely, how much is not enough?

Not enough? Seriously, why would I even think this? Believe it or not, I have had people tell me I don't share enough on this blog.  My first reaction when people say this is to hand them the number of a good counselor. But, I am told that they love to hear my insights about what's going on at this stage of my life because they can relate. So, I try to keep that in mind when I write.

While those who have known me only in my later years (from 40 on) might think I am always open and share pretty much everything I feel (at least somewhat), those who have known me longer, seem to know me as someone who shares nothing (at least that's what I am often told by those closest to me).

That's not to say that me "yammering" a lot is something new. It's just what I am yammering about is fairly new. I still don't share my feelings easily and often, and, I have to admit that things have to be either really good or really, really horrible for me to just let them flow.

But, over the past decade, thanks to the "gift" that is the Permanent Pause and the "gift" leading up to it, things just seem to come out; often at the most inappropriate times (like when I am at a reunion dinner with my high school peeps, sorry about that ladies, I sure know how to bring a room down).

At this stage of my life I am still learning to navigate between TMI and not enough information, and I will inevitably keep misjudging just how much is "enough."

But, what I have learned is that if you really do have something to say, that you need to just say it. Stuffing it in, ignoring it or thinking that it isn't the right time doesn't work. It will never be the "right" time and your feelings will not go away, they will only get stronger and they may come out at inappropriate times (see comment above).

Just say it. As I wrote about last week, life is short and we need to just do and say as much as we can while we are here. Do it not only for yourself, but for those you care about. As I wrote there, while some things might be hard for them to hear, always wondering "what if" or trying to read your mind is even harder.

John Mayer, "Say"
Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all your so called problems
Better put 'em in quotations

Say what you need to say
Say what you need to saaaay...

It's better to say too much 
Then to never say what you need to say again.

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