Monday, April 2, 2012

Day 93: Does She Or Doesn't She?

It is funny that I seem to get most of my inspiration for writing this blog from my Facebook feed. Like today's post for instance.

I had no intention of writing about gray hair, or my graying hair, even though this is something that has been bothering me for a long time. And, when I saw this: Gray Hair On Women Hits The Workplace on my Facebook feed, I just decided I needed to write about it.

Now most people would think that what bothers me is the fact that I am going gray. I would be lying to say that it doesn't bother me at all, or that it doesn't make me feel like I am getting older. I AM getting older, and ironically, my hair is getting darker as it gets grayer.

But, that's not what bothers me the most. What bothers me the most is that there's this assumption that I should be coloring it and hiding the fact that this perfectly natural part of aging is happening to me so that I can keep looking younger.

Why do I feel this way? Well this quote from the article helps explain it: "In 1950, 7 percent of women dyed their hair, she said. Today, it's closer to 95 percent or more, depending on geographic location. In the `60s, easy, affordable hair dye in a box hit store shelves, changing the follicle landscape for good."

This is true, most of the women in my life, my friends, my family, all color their hair, and most of them have done it since way before they started turning gray. I have never colored my hair, not even highlights, and have often been quizzed about why this is, or even pressured to do it. 

As I wrote about when talking about my eye color and my glasses, I appreciate that other people have good intentions and have a different idea of beauty, or what makes somebody look beautiful. But, I am perfectly content with what nature gave me, and I like my hair color. Even though I might bitch sometimes that I am graying and wrinkling, I bitch about everything else why should that be any different? I have lived 50 years, and I have earned each and every gray hair and line on my face. Like my eye color, they are what make me, me.

I can't speak for anyone else, nor would I ever want to make somebody else feel like they shouldn't do it, just like I hate it when they tell me I should do it.

But for me, another quote in this story really hits at the heart of it for me, "I felt like I had sold my soul and betrayed myself."

As with most things in life, I can always change my mind and my hair color. But, to me, what's more important is what's on the inside, that I become beautiful there because that's where it really counts. I can always get a new hair color, or new glasses, or new clothes. But is that really where true beauty lies?


  1. You his a chord with being bothered by the assumption that I should be dying my hair. I left a hair dresser I had gone to for years because she said she should stage a intervention for me to get me to dye my gray hair. It's my choice not to dye it. Not only do I not want to be a slave to a dye job, but I also don't want to put those chemicals on my hair. It would seem hypocritical to me to garden and eat as organically as possible and then dye my hair.

  2. Hi Kat!

    I appreciate your comment and it is comforting to know I am not alone in this. I am also with you 100% on the whole feeling hypocritical since I garden and eat organically as much as I can too. I hate any chemicals, period, and every time I have even thought about dying my hair, I just kept thinking WTF will I be putting on my head, near my brain, its already slipping enough, I don't need to risk it anymore!